战士奇兵

      我们和电影有个约会青岛站第17期，由纽约视觉艺术学院在读的美岑同学带来了一部新西兰电影《战士奇兵》（又译《夕阳武士》）。一个发生在普通毛利家庭的故事，直观感受就是充斥着家暴。电影反映的是社会问题，是一个民族兴衰在家庭中的缩影。故事虽然发生在新西兰，却是人类社会普遍矛盾的凸显。
      具有公主身份的贝丝，爱慕勇敢率真、奴隶出身的杰克，带着对自由的憧憬，双双逃离毛利的原居部落，组成了家庭。拥有了五个儿女的他们，开心时会载歌载舞，通宵畅饮。
然而其乐融融的幸福，转瞬就会被杰克的家暴击成一地碎片。贝丝不忍心让孩子看到肿胀变形的脸，独自在卫生间抽泣，胆战心惊的孩子卷缩在床下颤栗。原本对生活充满希望的大女儿格瑞斯，在被父亲好友强奸后，完全不敢奢望得到父母的护佑，绝望中结束了自己的生命。在杰克暴毙强奸女儿的恶棍后，又举斧怒砍还悬有缢绳的大树时，让人为那欲哭无泪、悔恨交加的父爱，痛彻心扉。
      家暴是一个社会问题，说起家暴大多数人会谴责那些施暴者，同情受害者。不过，在我看来没有赢家，施暴者或许是获得了暂时的掌控权，但是仍然摆脱不了内心的自卑。暴力是因为缺乏被认可、被尊重，内心无力且痛苦的一种应对模式，隐藏和压抑的是太多愤怒。但是暴力解决不了，只能适得其反。就如同贝丝瞧不起杰克一样，他的拳头并没有赢得想要的尊重。当然从人生脚本的角度去理解，或许他一直需要这种痛苦的循环来确立存在感。
谈到脚本，就要看看它是如何写就的。当我们还是孩童时，渴望着父母无条件的接纳，然而现实当中没有“完美”的父母，所以受伤是难免的。小孩怎么也想不明白，为什么我是你的孩子，我那么忠诚于你，你不能按照原本的我，接纳我？总是要求我这、要求我那。然后就开始计划，如何去改变父母、达到目的。绞尽脑汁发展出一些应对策略，暂时换来了父母的表扬、奖励，就不断强化。但是，父母还是没有彻底改变，还在按照他们的期望要求我们，挫败感也就成为了脚本的结局。
      脚本的制定是我们的“小博士”发挥了所有的聪明才智，所以，一旦脚本写就，就会自动上演，尤其在遇到压力的时候。生活当中也会不断搜寻合适的人选（恋人等）来扮演脚本里的角色，用游戏的方式实现脚本。这一切是发生在无意识状态下的，也就不能活在当下。表现出来的就是个性，这就是为什么人们会感叹：“江山易改 本性难移”。带着改造父母的初衷，我们踏上了人生旅途，面对各种关系，尤其是亲密关系，我们是痴心不改。每一次的期待落空，都会勾起我们小孩的不服，总会站在自己的角度去评判、指责周围的人和事，不想也不愿意面对现实。需要看清的是，没有人是为你而活，因为他们也都和你一样，期望你为他而活。成熟，意味着看清并接受这一切，不再活在小孩的幻想当中，真正学会为自己负责，包括自己的期望。学会为期望落空买单，而不是去抱怨指责，就如同任性的小孩在地上打滚一样可笑。
      由此可见，家暴无非就是一种小孩不服的应对模式，出于幼稚的幻想，希望借此去掌控他人。只是没有力量去面对自己失控的痛苦，也就是一种逃避。当你是成熟的人，透过施暴者的表相，看到他无助、可怜，需要被父母认可的痛苦，或许那些举起的拳头可以自己放下。只可惜，现实当中的受害者，就如同公主贝丝，往往是带着自己倔强的脚本，导演着被虐的一幕幕，然后有理由去指责，目的只有一个——改变当年的父母。现实当中的伙伴，或许只是你寻找的，扮演父母的最佳人选，否则脚本又如何上演？！
      要获得自由，需要先看清脚本，然后有机会去中止重复的模式。面对任何环境，都能够的为自己负责，真正享受自主的生活。

"Our people once were warriors, but not like you, Jake.
They were a people with mana, pride. People with spirit.
If my spirit can survive living with you for 18 years, then I can survive
anything.
Maybe you taught me that."
这段独白当年深深震撼了我。无论经历了怎样的苦难，只要愿意，仍然可以充满勇气地活下去。这一刻的宣言，像透进地牢的耀眼阳光，用希望和决心扫净过去所有的苦难。
澳洲鲜为人知的土著毛利人，终日笼罩在家庭暴力下的阴暗生活，电影的最後，在观照悲惨的现实後还是给出励人和温暖的结局。
Beth Heke -- Mother
Jake "the Muss" Heke -- Father
Grace Heke – Elder sister
Nig Heke – Elder brother
Boogie Heke – Less elder brother
Polly Heke, Huata Heke – Younger brother and sister

I saw this movie in Business English class. Our teacher David is from New Zealand, and he said this movie is about the aboriginal people of New Zealand, Maori. He also said that people consider New Zealand as a beautiful country, but this movie reveals something not so beautiful and we might be shocked by this movie. Indeed, we are shocked, by the domestic violence, which is the brutality of uncivilized people and moreover, the love of a mother, which is also the nature of human, or more expansively, the whole live species.

Only the savage people can act as Jake do to his wife, Beth, beating her with no sympathy. In my opinion, the only usage of muscle is a sign of health, an approach to attract women. Brawny man as Jake, fist is his weapon and muscle is what he used to make a live. However, he is always drunk and in those occasions, muscle is the weapon to beat women. It is so wrong! He could have once even punched his little daughter if not stopped by his bros. Holly animals! I doubt the justification to categorize him as a human.

I am not denying that he has shown some kind of love to his family. He works to feed the family, when he is not drunk, he behaves much milder. I think his ancestors are the warriors of tribe. They were strong, intrepid and responsible, and they pursuit honor. However, in modern society, the most powerful weapon is not fist but brain. They must be lost in modernization.

Nevertheless, the Maoris are not the least hopeless because they have spirits, which is derived from ancestors. The tradition helps the Maoris to prepare for the challenge of modernization. Beth, the mother of the family, has such a strong sense of family unison. She has gone through fire and water to prevent her family from splitting apart. Her sons are not easy, and her daughters are reared in a brutal environment. The task for the mother is hard to undertake. The mother love is so strong that she never surrenders to the difficulties of life. For the sake of the children, she finally made the decision to leave her brutal husband. I hope and believe, she could handle the challenges of life by herself with the help of the children, and the children, would have a brighter future than their parents. That is the development of a race, a evolution of mankind, and also reflects the power of spirits, which is the heritage from ancestor and bless us to overcome difficulties.

This movie is too bloody violent and gloomy, but there is still hope there. I don’t remember who has said this: hope and wait is the wisdom of human being, And I would like to add to it the ability of judge and making decisions.

当听到楼上一对年轻情侣深夜的厮打声时,我努力抑制住内心的颤抖。爱得强烈时往往带着同样强壮的占有欲和强迫欲。家庭暴力的题材在现在影视作品里已经不少见了，在《夕阳武士》中这种暴力随着贫穷、酗酒、男子至上的各种因素而升温。整个影片充满了暴力和血腥，爱和暴力来得都如此迅猛，是留下还是离开?
男人的高大和强悍本应用来保护家园建设家庭，反而成为所有破坏的爆发点。有多少妻子，因为畏惧丈夫硬朗冰冷的拳头或是挽留当初的爱情，以为再给一次机会事情就会有所转机。女主角如大部分挨打的女性一样，她们想要抗争却不想因此而让孩子处于一个破碎的家庭。
也许，我们在谨慎选择了自己的爱人时，并不知道未来将会发生什么？是幸福还是不幸。如果是你同样遇到了家庭暴力，那就勇敢站起来，维护自己的尊严和幸福，不要再给他犯错的可能和机会。

说来有意思了，这是我现在的老公推荐我看的第一部新西兰电影。那时，我们还在dating。看完这部片子，可是让我考虑了好一阵，能不能嫁给这个新西兰男孩！片子实在太家暴了！